dreamer

Are you a dreamer?

As far back as I can remember I have always been a dreamer; Not afraid to imagine the impossible and believe that miracles would happen in my life. 

But then life and growing up taught me about disappointment and “reality” and i slowly stopped dreaming. I stopped believing I would see miracles that would make my heart sore. Sure, i still believed in “miracles” in the biblical sense of the word, but it was often easier for me to believe that someone would be healed of cancer or have a truth awakening than it was for me to believe that God would show me a miracle because of His heart as my daddy. I had experience with disappointment and “reality” that made me dis-content with the present but unable to dream for more in the future. 

In December that all changed. 

One cold winter day, I was snuggled up with some tea, my Bible and some good music when I heard this familiar, still small voice in my heart, 

‘don’t let it rob you.’

I was a little taken back but i pressed in... 

“what Lord? What is robbing me?”

‘Disappointment. Don’t let it rob you.’

“Huh?? What do you mean? Im not disappointed. I’m fine.” 

‘You have let Disappointment rob you of the JOY of right now and the Hope of your future.’ 

“Oh. But... But...But... What can i do?” 

‘You can trust me with the unknown and dream again. Dream bigger. Dream real big! I love you.”

Within 24 hours of that moment i had someone challenge me and say to me, “you need to begin to pray for things that only God can do so that He can receive all the glory! What good is it for you to pray for things you could attain by working hard? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of really giving Him all the glory? I believe it’s time for you to dream big again.” 

I could have cried and laughed all in one moment. He sees me. He has provided a means and a safe place to grow, dream and work towards my goals but ultimately my deepest desire is for him to get all the glory and therefore i must believe in a way that He will. I must pray in a way that He will. I must walk in a way that He will. 

If I work hard and only achieve what is possible by my hands, my strategy and my wisdom i would in turn be robbing Him of showing His power in my life. I would be stealing His glory as my own. 

So I have decided to become a dreamer again. I decided i will not partner with disappointment any longer.  There is too much joy to be found in right now and so much hope to be found in the future. I don’t want to miss any of it.